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Wie Ihr Kind in drei einfachen Schritten sein Leben ruinieren kann

von NFI Redaktion

The ancient stoic philosophers often used an exercise known as „premeditatio malorum“ – or the intentionality of evil. In short, they would imagine bad things happening to them, and then do the opposite, believing that from such activity invariably and without exception good things would arise.

Today, we call this practice the „Law of Reversal“ – and it can be just as effective when considering how to best help our children and young people grow into responsible and successful adults.

Recently, my friend Holly, who has been teaching at a Christian college for more than two decades, brought this practice to mind. Many of her students come from good and affluent families. But she thought about how the students have changed over the years. It’s a reminder that no one is immune to the influence of culture, which hangs like moisture in hot air.

Holly has identified three specific troubling trends that I will convert into maxims for safe failure.

First: Take offense quickly and easily at any comment or behavior directed towards you.

We are quickly becoming a nation of victims who want to blame others for attacking, undermining, or insulting us. This trend may not be new, but it is spreading.

Have you ever wondered why this happens?

It was the famous Russian writer Fyodor Dostoevsky who provided an explanation. „The man who lies to himself can be more offended than anyone,“ he noted. „You know, sometimes it’s very pleasant to be offended, isn’t it? A man may know that no one has offended him, but that he has invented the offense for himself, that he has lied and exaggerated to make it picturesque, that he has understood a word and made a mountain out of a molehill – he knows it himself, and yet he will be the first to take offense and will enjoy his resentment until he takes great pleasure in it.“

The second way to ensure failure is to not bother cultivating or developing critical thinking skills. Just go along with the crowd.

The ability to think for oneself and ignore the drumbeat of prevailing thoughts is scarce today. Oversaturated with media in various forms, we are bombarded with the wisdom of our time on a daily basis. Perhaps critical thinking is so rare because it is so difficult. It takes time to think. It is the wise person who makes it a daily habit to silently sit with their thoughts and weigh the pros and cons of a problem.

„Too often we enjoy the comfort of an opinion without the discomfort of thought,“ President John F. Kennedy said. Write down your thoughts and pray for God’s wisdom judgment.

And finally: If you want to quickly sink your ship, don’t let facts stand in the way of your emotions.

Emotions are a legitimate aspect of human existence. But they are instinctive and often due to temporary circumstances. They are also hopelessly unreliable. They ebb and flow. Poor sleep or even a poor meal can put a fragile person in an emotionally depressed state.

Study the facts. It is reckless and irresponsible to ignore reality. There may be cases where it makes sense to „rely on your gut feeling,“ but decisions should always be founded and not solely determined by raw emotions.

As parents, our goal is not just to raise great kids, but to raise children who grow into successful, functioning, and productive adults. You would never expect anyone to jump out of an airplane without a properly packed and functioning parachute. Why would you hand your son or daughter out the door into the fiercely competitive and volatile world without these crucial life skills?

Our children have the best chance of being successful in life if they develop tough courage, critical thinking, and learn to channel reality correctly and separate from raw emotions.

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