The Best that 2024 can offer us for Super Bowl LVIII is a repeat performance. Watching the Kansas City Chiefs march into a showdown against a defensive powerhouse led by an underrated quarterback is another reminder that time is a flat circle. We even witnessed a Shanahan-McCaffrey revival, 25 years after Ed McCaffrey and Mike Shanahan won three Super Bowls together, starting with their first as Shanahan was the coordinator in San Francisco. Christian McCaffrey is the Eminem of running backs, earning MVP nods and paving the way for the position in a time when the rest of his group is undervalued. But those aren’t even the headliners.
Who will win next year’s Super Bowl? For internet users scrolling through Cam Newton’s podcasts, this Super Bowl presents a flawless narrative to keep you occupied for the next week. For the pro-Cam parts of the hate-watching community, Purdy simply presents a sophisticated imitation of Jimmy Garoppolo from 2019. In reality, Purdy is the only quarterback in this Super Bowl who activated a franchise-saving mode during San Fran’s heroic comeback against the Lions, while Mahomes only threw one pass in the last 10 minutes of the AFC Championship win last week.
Mahomes‘ current performance is depressingly different from the younger, more dynamic version of himself. He can still perform, but with a more pronounced dad body. Andy Reid has parked the demonstrative Ferrari offense that won Mahomes the MVP and has been forced to use his luxury quarterback behind a minivan offense.
The only loyal representative of those glorious days is Travis Kelce, whose motor control light has been blinking for months. Travis Kelce is earning money with attention economy, but overexposure is starting to wear on everyone. If you’ve seen enough of Kelce’s content, you might still hear him beginning every thought with „brother“ in your dreams or nightmares.
If Kansas City wins its third Super Bowl in five years, the Kelce mania could spread. Chris Jones has been the moderator of KC in this season. He looms on the edge and sews the middle better than almost anyone in football. But KC was only willing to extend Jones for a year until right before the regular season started. KC will appreciate Jones‘ potential when he faces them the next season in a new jersey.
Maybe a slightly worn-out Nick Bosa is more your thing?
It’s also an election year, which means that the broken national politics have infiltrated the Kelce-Swift whirlpool. However, if you think Swift is a psyops campaign for Biden in 2024, then Nick Bosa is the right player for you. President Rumpelthinskin’s favorite NFL player may have been erased his oldest tweets, but the internet never forgets. It cannot be emphasized enough how average Bosa has been since his extension.
George Kittle is the best tight end in this game. He has endured a series of interim quarterbacks. The Niners deserve the quarterback uncertainty they’ve faced over the past two decades for passing on Tom Brady six times. In 2017, they selected Solomon Thomas over Mahomes and Deshaun Watson. Kyle Shanahan also thought he was smarter than everyone else in 2020, choosing to go with Jimmy G. over Brady again.
To see Purdy shrink on the big stage would flood the nervous systems of his critics with a level of satisfaction they have rarely felt in their sad lives. It can be assumed that if there is justice, Kyle Shanahan loses another Super Bowl squeaker as Patrick Mahomes leads Kansas City to victory once again.
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